Sometimes I hate my brain
The first thought after I heard about Chris Kelly’s death was ‘I wonder if they will bury him with his suit on backwards’. My next thought was that it was ‘wigity wigity wack.’ Now I hate myself. I am not even going to try to lie like I didn’t wear my pants backward in the third grade. I had that Totally Krossed Out shit on tape. I really need to find out why my mind is so terrible.
I call my girlfriend Shia Labeouf because her best feature is Holes
I guess it is all about how you look at it.
So, I work in the ghetto of Detroit. I typically get to work around 7:45am. When I arrive, I notice that usually there are two gentlemen waiting outside the liquor store across the street. The liquor store opens at 8:00am. For the first couple hours of the day, I see a steady stream of men, apparently inspired by the Derelicte campaign from Zoolander, walk down the street to the same liquor store. The street is littered with pint bottles of varying types of cheap alcohol.
I don’t know which is better.
On one hand, these two guys show up everyday 15 minutes early to buy booze. I know from talking to them that they set alarms, and they meet down the street to walk together to the liquor store. By their accounts, they have been doing this for over 4 years. Both of them squat in different houses on the East side. Apparently the liquor store owner over charges their bridge card for their other items, so that they can buy their booze…everyday.
On the other hand, the other lazy alcoholics get to the liquor store anywhere from 8:15am to 10:00am. I have never talked to them, but they do seem to make a similar pilgrimage everyday. If you are a drunk, and that is your life, I would think that there would be some sort of honor in doing it to the best of your ability. This crowd seems to get to the liquor store when it is convenient. I would be fired if I consistently showed up 15 minutes to 2 hours late.
I don’t know if I am proud of the guys who show up on time everyday, or if it is worse. I guess it is all about time management, and work/life balance. I have literally been thinking about this every morning for months. I see them outside the store when I get to work, and I don’t know whether to think that it is awesome or not. I mean it is not like they are showing up for work, but at the same time, they kinda are. I don’t know. I guess it is all about how you look at it.
On the next Mad Men…
me: well the first four seasons were good, so I guess I’m excited.
I got home at 11:00pm from working both jobs yesterday. I thought about going out to meet some friends. I laid down with R. Kelly for a minute, so I could tell him all about how he is the best dog in the world, and then I woke up at 6:30am in all my clothes (including shoes, glasses, and hat). I think this schedule is finally catching up to me, or R. Kelly has magical powers.